Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Oh No She Didn't!


Hang in there folks, it's day 22 and I am getting a little feisty! 


When I first read through the list of topics and saw the one for today I cringed. I was thinking “I do not like to rant in public; I do not like to stir the waters.” However, Babe and his ears have heard me rant upon occasion. He suggested I share about my thoughts on taking babies places (because he has gotten ear fulls on some of that business).

I do not currently have children of my own but take claim too many.  Due to the fact that in many ways I already feel like I have had my first child (and then some) I will not be a very cautious first time 'can’t-take-my-baby-anywhere' mama. There are probably places I would be willing to take a baby that would make some new mothers pretty nervous. So when I think that there are certain places children just shouldn’t go I have good reason to believe it might be true that they don’t belong there.  Please, please do not take your newborn (and by newborn I mean umbilical cord and baby acne still not completely gone) to Wet n’ Wild (or any other comparable water park).  If you must (which I don’t see why you would and maybe you can explain to me) then please keep them out of the cesspool that is the lazy river! I don’t even feel that I should put myself in that nasty thing sometimes but I am grown (as in not under three weeks old) and therefore have a choice in said matter.  

I consider it a general rule of mine not to take babies/toddlers into any adult flicks, but I like to think parents know their children and can make their own choice. However, if said baby starts to cry please take them to the lobby! Do not get into a verbal argument with the man who has asked you to please sit down instead of bouncing baby up and down (right in front of him) trying to calm them. Most importantly though, do not take your three year old into Silent Hill at 9 o’clock at night ever!! Come on people, have you seen that movie?! And please, do not then reprimand said child to “hush up and go to sleep” when they start crying because the psycho-demon-things are pouring out of cracks in the screen and the movie goers are screaming.  I might feel the urge to pick up said child, cover their eyes as we exit the theater and cradle them in the lobby until they fall asleep while you finish the movie.  You may think it is crazy that a stranger is picking your child up but I think it is crazy that they are crying and telling you that they are tired and scared and you think that they will be able to just go to sleep in the middle of a movie that could give grown men nightmares! If you are said parent of said child then I apologize for being forward but I was just about to turn around and give you a piece of my mind.  I really wanted to! I gave it to Babe instead after the movie, mainly because I don’t really confront anyone - as I can't even tell the waiter when my food order is wrong - but I know he sure wished I had told you what I had to say instead of him.  So save him the agony next time and just keep your child at home or take them to Mary Poppins, but don’t make me cringe through an entire movie and almost offer to babysit (free of charge) because you needed to see a sub par movie that badly.  

Man I am dating how long I can hold onto some stuff considering when that movie came out but I feel I must speak up in protest for all those little voices that don't want to see demon spawn before they even reach the horrors of middle school! 

Now that I am in rant mood I could probably go into how I will feel in a few weeks when I finish reading HP and The Half-Blood Prince and then re-watch the movie, but I will just save it for another time. However, if anyone tries to argue with me that Harry Potter is a sissy because the movie 'done jacked' the ending all up then I can't make promises on your safety! Stay tuned folks (or don't if you wish to skip that post), I am giving far advanced warning.  

Ok, end rant and breathe! 


Seriously though if anyone out there has some encouragement that I am not alone in this to make me feel better for possibly offending someone that would be a great help.  Anywhere in particular you would not take your kid? 

5 comments:

  1. I also am all about taking your kids places, but too feel that there are some places that they just should. not. go.

    That movie?!?! I would have freaked out. I can't imagine that I wouldn't have said something, shaking while I did it. I try to remember that maybe, JUST MAYBE, this movie going experience is the one key to their sanity and they don't have money for a sitter. But really? Psh. We all know that's not true.

    And the lazy river? oh. my. goodness. Gave my baby loving heart chills, and I am not even a "wash your hands before you lay a hand on my child!" type person. Just gross.

    So no, not alone. I actually saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo at night and there was a kid in there, who they luckily took out halfway through when they realized it was virtually soft-core porn. I don't think that parenting has to be as sacrificial as lots of people say, but it still is a sacrifice at times, such as movie going.

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  2. I am with you on all of the above.

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  3. SO GLAD I DIDN'T SEE THAT MOVIE. And I just don't get taking babies into movies?! There are so MANY options before resorting to that even if you're dirt poor and have no family in the area. OPTIONS people!!

    And bring on the HP posts!!

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  4. A bar. I wouldn't take my baby to a bar.

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  5. we had a couple bring their 6 and 7 year old(or somewhere close to that in age) to the 10 pm showing of Ted. My husband and I just gave each other "the look". Wrong on so many levels. I feel ya.

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